It all started with Genesis
In the beginning, G-d created man by breathing life into him. He named him Adam, which in Hebrew, both means earth and man. Adam lived in Gan Eden and G-d saw he was lonely. So what did G-d do? He took a piece of Adam’s rib and created Eve. Eve was made to compliment Adam, created from his own flesh and blood and when they came together, they were whole. This image is an important teaching, because it allows us to realize that our presence is not supposed to diminish that of our chosen partner, but elevate it; just like how our partner is supposed to bring us up.
Together, we are whole. That belief alone is an important teaching in how one should approach dating.
Courting might seem like an old fashioned belief, but it allows us to be more connected to the person we are interested in. In this day and age, when phones make us so accessible, we’ve lost touch to a vital part of communication: communicating. If you’re interested in a girl, a string of fire emojis isn’t going to catch her attention, it’s going to earn a block. Try compliments that don’t focus on appearance, because depending on the person, they can seem shallow and uncomfortable. If you’re really interested in her, get to know her! Strike up a conversation, ask what her favorite movie is, see if she’s willing to share a link to her favorite song and give it a listen! Intention matters.
Class too, matters. Suggestive messages don’t build a connection, they send people running for the hills! How would you feel if you opened up your DMs one day and saw a message with explicit pictures you didn’t ask for? You wouldn’t feel flattered, you’d feel disgusted! Women are already vulnerable when meeting with strangers, conducting yourself with class will make her feel more comfortable and willing to open up.
Putting in the time to get to know the person you want to ask out and their interests leads to better connections and better dates. Putting in the effort and showing up is a big part of it, too. Don’t let the planning fall solely onto one person. Make plans together, or take the initiative and plan the date yourself. Be classy, open doors, walk her to the car and even if you don’t score a second date, make sure she was comfortable and gets home safely. These aren’t outdated rules, they’re expressions of respect.
Most importantly, being present matters. Put in the time and care to get ready, show up dressed like you mean it. Be prepared to be present, turn your phone to do not disturb and give the person you are courting you’re full attention. In an age where we are constantly available at the touch of a button, show the person you are interested that you are available to them.
This isn’t about rules or pressure, it’s about Kavod- honor. Dating should be approached with intention and respect. Stop treating it like a game and start treating it like an investment in your future!
